Perspective

How I see my self-----prov 23:7(kjv)

how I see others----matt.7:4-7 I am responsible for how i treat others, am not responsible for how they treat me....I am responsible for my reactions to those i perceive as difficult--------i cant choose how you treat me, but i can choose how i treat and respond to you.

how i think others see me----my reputation. I often deal with people according to my reputation and this can affect my effectiveness.

Process--  STAGES IN RELATIONSHIPS

1. the honey moon stage.

2. the irritation stage(things are identified)

3. the reality stage(things need dealing with)

4. the crucial stage(the rectify or breakdown stage)

Identifying, understanding and dealing with personality types

*there are different types of difficult people here are some of them----

1. the thumb sucker---------full of self pity, pout ,manipulative often employing the silent treatment to get what they want.

Things to consider when dealing with them

*-you will have to persist to find out what is really wrong  with them.

-this may be the way they have got attention probably all their lives and it usually works for them.

How to confront them

-tell them moodiness is a choice.

-some times it helps to expose them to people with really problems.

-do not reward thumb sucking-behavior with special attention

-give praise when they have a positive idea or action.

2. the wet blanket--always negative, pessimistic outlook, always looking for a problem.

How to confront them

-point their potential which is being hindered by their attitude.

don’t listen to negativity and call it what it is-an excuse

-present the chose to them to change their attitude and move on or keep their attitude and remain stationary.

don’t let their negativity get to you.

3. the garbage collector--they have L--O--N--G(long)memories. they release and replay to any one who will listen, everything that was done to them or said about them.

-they hold grudges and nurse old wounds.

things to consider when dealing with this personality  type.

-they will want to tell you old tales.

they want you to know they have been victimised.

how to confront this personality type.

don’t let them blame other people. ask them have you sorted it with this person and if not, why not?

hold them to account for misrepresenting people and tell them they have to put right any misrepresentation.

4.the users----they are avoid responsibility and demand time and energy from others.

they put on a weak front to get people to assist them.

things to consider when dealing with this personality type.

-they will drain you if you let them.

-they will take up your time and form a dependency on you.

how to confront this personality type

-set predetermined limits with them.

-don’t feel guilty about saying no to them.

***it is inevitable that at some point in relationships, confrontation will take place. it is important to approach the offended party with the right attitude at the  right time.

i hope this information have helpful to your question.

Stay blessed.

Yours in Christ P. SIBANDA